I have not blogged in so long and looking back at my old posts, how embarrassing! I have had a lot on my mind lately. 2017  is going to be a great year. Many changes are happening and have happened. I got married on December 3, 2016 to a handsome Argentine man. I do not think people really warn you about how hard marriage is. Just because I put those smiley emojis on facebook does not always mean life is just peachy. This has been one of the hardest months for me and yet one of the best that I finally get to be with my best friend forever and ever and ever. We had to get his Visa and he flew into the country three weeks before the wedding. I got rid of the photographer and my mom took our engagement pictures with my phone, because I forgot to charge my camera. Doy! I did not order enough invites (sorry people who never got invited), my hair went flat, I did not lose those extra 10 pounds that came with stress, it was freezing and I got new underwear that still angers me every single time I put them on. Life is not what you would expect. But my reception was beautiful, the cake was soo good and I had amazing family and friends there to support me and my parents are amazing.

My name is Jessica I am far from perfect, have a short temper, and am trying to pretend to act my age and be an adult and cope with life changes. My husband is a crazy Argentine and I love him, and feel like I have a 10 year old, and just have to follow a trail in the house of where he has been to find him.  

Wedding Day

Happy New Year!

When your cute nephew pees all over his pants and your pants but still is the cutest thing

Fail again! When you want to be Martha Stewart but fail every time. Bath Bombs gone bad

Loves of my Life 

The handsome mister! 

                I feel like I always write when something big happens in my life, my wedding was a big event, but that is not what I am going to talk much about in this post, I am going to write on death. It has always been something I have tried to make sense in my mind. Lately there has been a lot of deaths around me. (Do you think it is because of Trump?! haha just joking. I really think Donald will do ok.) But on a serious note, it is something so interesting to me. I have a friend who just lost her father unexpectedly. She said something along the lines of she did not want to live. I sent her a message and told her that “I am so sorry for your loss (Cry emoji) Let me know if there is anything I can do for you (Heart Emoji) She then replied back to me “I am so wanting to die myself” I probably should have thought a little longer before replying but if you know me you know I will usually give you my blunt opinion. I told her something along the lines of “Death is a horrible thing! It sucks when someone you love dies and it is not going to suck less as time goes on, you will always miss him and you won’t stop. But they are one of your angels now and get to be with and watch over you. You are a very loved and strong person. Nothing right now will help the pain go away. But you still have those that need you in their life.”  I guess the reason I bring this up is lately I have had a friend I grew up with take his own life, I knew a lady that just died after being sick for years due to unhealthy choices, I knew a lady that was in her mid 50’s that went in for surgery and was recovering when she suddenly passed, and there is also a lady in her mid 30’s, a single mom, 2 early teens, that just had very bad headaches and found out she had a tumor, then more tumors and they say she won’t live much longer. It is so interesting to me that all those people come from different backgrounds, different races, different culture but every single person has that hurt and feels that pain of losing a loved one. I have shed more than one tear for each one of those people’s hurting families as it takes me back and makes me feel the pain of when I too have lost loved ones close to me.

                I am LDS I do believe In God and I know I will get to see my family and friends again. I feel that is one advantage I do have over people that do not believe in that. I was talking to my friend who is not LDS about how angry I get at people that kill themselves, I just personally do not feel there is ever an excuse to do that to your family. EVER! But I do not know what they are going through and I also understand sometimes they are ill in their head but back to my story. She  was talking to me about how I cannot say that I am angry at them because I have my religion to fall back on. She was saying that “Jess, you believe in God and you know you will see your family again and live with them again after we die.Not everyone has that religion to believe in like you do. They think that when they die, they are done, their life is over, they don’t have to worry about anything ever again.” That just shocked me a little, because I don’t feel I am very vocal about my religion, if you ask, I will tell you but I am not going to preach to you. It just surprised me she knew that about me and answered that way. It also made me feel a little bit of comfort in my heart because it is true. I know these people can see their loved ones again. It still hurts, but I think it would tear you apart not knowing you would see your loved ones again.

These deaths have been hard, not that any deaths are easy. But, lately I have cried a lot not just for these deaths, but like I said earlier, a lot of changes have been happening for me. And I still have angry chewing out sessions with God a lot, poor guy. But I also know he has a plan and reason for everything and I don’t get to understand.

I guess my point that I did not get across very well is, life is hard. Being an adult is hard, having someone leave us is probably one of the hardest things. But every single person experiences it at one point in their life. Every human is going through hard times, and no matter how many emojis or smiles you put on facebook. You do not know what people are going through. You do not know their lives. Like I said LIFE IS HARD! Things will never go as planned and sadly disappointment does happen, a lot. Try to make the best of it and stay strong. God does love you and life goes by quicker than you realize. Don’t forget to reach out to your loved ones. And keep plugging on, the snow will melt one day, the bills will get smaller, I will survive my first year of marriage :) 


Happy New Year 2017!